I’ve heard this or other versions of this question (What’ your real job?) hundreds of times. I know what people are asking, and I know why they ask it. Mostly they don’t understand how standup comedy could be a “job”. They just assume it’s just a hobby, something that I do on the weekends, or when I have time off.  Sure it starts that way; ALL of us have day jobs to pay the bills while we try to “make it”. Sometimes however it’s someone who thinks it could not possibly be considered work, and it’s just playtime away from the real world. These are the people I’d like to live in my and other comedians shoes for a little while.

I respect anyone who works the 9 to 5, and I really respect the ones who have given up on a dream to support and make their families life better. My uncle told me a long time ago to “Love what you do for a living.” See he was one that did what he had to do; he worked for 30 years for the railroad, and hated it every single day. He did it because he had to. I respect him and people like him immensely. He gave up so much just so his family would not have to. Ever since that day, I was determined to love my job. This is why 15 years later, I still do. Loving my job does not make it an easy one. It just means I don’t mind the work it takes to do it.

Some days I would love to have what some consider a “real job.” I think I would love being home with my wife every night being able to sleep in my bed. I would like a steady pay check, benefits, and raises. Most of all I would LOVE to be able to drive a car I’d like to drive, not one that I have to. The last 3 weeks I’ve been home 4 days. I’ve driven 3,500 miles, slept in my car in -6 degree weather. (My bottle of water was frozen when I woke up 4 hours later.) I have to travel with 2 blankets, a down comforter, heavy winter coat, gloves, wool socks, boots, and a knit hat. That one drive was 14 hours, and that’s a fairly short one compared to what I’ve done in the past, my longest drive was 48 hours straight, just stopping for gas and food. That’s just the travel part of my job.  I’m not only a professional driver, my other jobs include, mechanic, travel agent, booking agent, web master, salesman, merchandiser, buyer, writer, producer, and last but not least performer.

I also LOVE every aspect of what I do. I like being in control of my life, and doing what I love to do. I don’t take it for granted. I’ve been able to travel, and see a lot of things a lot of people never have the chance to see. There is a lot of freedom that goes a long with being a comedian, but there is also a lot of pressure as well. I’m only as good as my last show, and all it takes is one bad show for me to never come back to a club. There are no write ups, or warnings, just “He sucked, we don’t want him back.” Plus we can’t collect unemployment when we are out of work. I’ve even been fired 3 hours before show time just because. The three most stressful things in life are joblessness, homelessness, and public speaking. Comedians do all of them every week.

I would not trade the last 15 years for anything, I’ve met thousands of great people, and made lots of friends because of what I do, and If it wasn’t for comedy, I would never have met the greatest woman I’ve ever known, my wife. Comedy is my life, and I owe my life to comedy. It’s a real job with real problems, and real benefits. It’s just not the normal way most people live their lives, but if I was normal I probably wouldn’t be a comedian.

I just finished my week in Detroit. I am lucky enough to schedule the same week every year, it’s the week of the North American International Auto Show. I was unsure how good the show would be this year, seeing how bad 2009 was for the auto industry. I was pleasantly surprised; it was a very good year for the auto show, especially Ford Motor Co.  As soon as you walked into COBO hall, Ford was the first display you were greeted with. Their display was 50% larger than in 2009, and easily was the most interactive. My favorite part of it was the Ford Passport. You got a booklet with a map of interactive kiosks, and when you completed the game or task at each kiosk you could get your passport stamped. With four stamps you go to a main desk and redeem your passport for a Ford baseball cap, and you could even win a Best Buy gift card. The low point of the Ford display was the malfunctioning “Fiesta Movement” game. We were unable to play it before we left and receive the bonus gift. As far as the vehicles on display, they had the most of any manufacturer. My favorite was the new 2011 5.0 Mustang GT, with the F-150 Raptor, and 2012 Focus coming in at a close 2^nd. There was a lack of concept cars however which is something I really enjoy being able to see. I think their main focus was on models you could actually sit in and buy.

GM’s presence was much smaller than in previous years, with no interactive displays. However the Buick and Cadillac part of it were very good. Buick had a Regal GS concept that looked ready for production, and would be the first real sporty Buick since 1987. Cadillac’s highlight was the XTS concept and the CTS-V Coupe.  I must say I really missed Pontiac at the show this year, and I’m still quite mad at GM for axing this storied brand. Chevrolet had a fairly large display but with a lot less cars you could actually sit in. Oddly enough the Aveo RS concept was the coolest car there. Chrysler’s exhibit was even smaller than GM’s and not very exciting, just a few Challengers and one concept was worth looking at.

The other big players were there. Toyota as usual had a quite boring display, with their trucks tucked away in the back, as not to spoil their fuel efficient image.  Lexus however had a much nicer exhibit, with the new LFA super car being the standout, it’s a complete stunner, and should be seen to be believed.  I did not see much of Honda’s display, because there was nothing there to draw me in, pretty much the very same as I saw last year. Hyundai had a very nice set up, with the new EQUUS luxury sedan highlighting it. I saw the last version of this car when I was in S. Korea two years ago. This will be the first time it will hit the US shores, and Mercedes, and Lexus better be worried.  Kia was there as well, and I must say they are getting much nicer VERY quickly. BMW was there, but its display was just as it was last year with nothing new, and the same could be said for Mercedes.   The marquee makes, like Maserati and Ferrari had a minimal presence with one or two cars, and none you could get near, but it’s like that every year.

Most surprising car there was the Tango. It’s the smallest EV I’ve seen, and it’s also the fastest ever produced.  It will do 0-60 in 4 seconds, and do the quarter mile in 12 seconds! I’ve never liked an electric vehicle so much as I liked this one. The other surprise of the show was the absence of Porsche, and Nissan for the second year in a row. One last thing before I end this blog. This was probably the sexiest car show I’ve ever seen. A Korean electric car maker CT&T must have known their cars were nothing much to look at, and had models with each one, all dressed in provocative outfits such as cat woman, school girl, police woman, and safari girl. As a whole all the manufacturers went out of their way this year to pair their cars with stunning models. Fiat even had a set of twins dressed in the tightest white dresses I’ve ever seen, not to mention a crowd of men around them, and I’m sure none of them could tell you what type of car they were next to.

All in all it was a great show, and a great weekend with my best friends. I’m looking forward to 2011, and another visit to COBO hall.

I have just added some more dates to my schedule. See when I’m coming to a club near you.

Cities recently added:

Wichita, KS
Oklahoma City, OK
Dubuque, IA
Ashville, NC

If you know me at all, you know I love old American cars, and I can’t wait to start and finish building my 1968 Buick Wildcat, or 67 Skylark, if I can trade the Wildcat for one. I have a nice 1970 455 and TH400 combo to go in it.

I don’t think I’ve given enough credit to the car responsible for me being able to travel as much as I do.

THE NISSAN SENTRA! I’ve owned four of them over the last 15 years.

1987 Sentra E, Bought with 74,000 miles, and traded in with 174,000

1991 Sentra XE, Bought with 101,000 miles, and traded with 264,000

1994 Sentra SE-R, Bought with 74,000 miles, and traded with 234,000

2001 Sentra SE, Bought with 15,000 miles, and still going with 407,000!

I have put 815,000 miles on four cars!! All with very few problems that are not considered normal maintenance.

I would not be able to do what I do for a living without all four of these cars. I have only had to get a rental car one time due to a breakdown. A comedian’s car is their best friend on the road, and I’ve had four really good ones. And to Nissan’s credit they have gotten better with each one I have owned. The 2001 SE is has been the best by far and, is nothing short of amazing. It has the same SR20DE engine as the 94’ SE-R with a few minor differences, with a 5 speed transmission. I cannot say enough good things about my SE, it keeps taking everything I throw at it, and keeps asking for more. It’s been through some of the most horrific winter conditions you can imagine, -50 temperatures, blizzards, white outs etc… I have even had to put it into a ditch to avoid an accident, and it didn’t even need an alignment afterwards!

Keep in mind I am a freak about maintenance, I never let little problems linger to big ones, and there has yet to be a big one. (Knocking on wood) I change the oil with Mobil 1 synthetic every five thousand miles, and use Lucas Oil treatment and Lucas Oil fuel injector cleaner on a regular basis. The transmission also has synthetic gear oil and Lucas Oil treatment in it as well. I keep it as clean as possible, I wash it after every prolonged road trip, wax it at least once a year, and keep the interior as clean as I can after having to basically live in it 40+ weeks a year. (Yes a clean car does run better, but you can’t ignore everything else and just wash it either.) I have been lucky not have had any major problems yet, but that doesn’t mean I have never spent any money to keep the Sentra in good working order. A good running car requires normal maintenance above and beyond oil changes. Tune ups, belts, sensors, brakes, hoses, filters etc…Any of these things left unattended will lead to a much bigger problem in the future.

Here is a list of what I’ve had to do to my Sentra, and yes it’s still normal maintenance, but look at the mileage I had to replace these parts.

Thermostat: 200,000
Alternator bearings: 200,000
Oxygen sensors: 150-200,000
Mass air flow sensor: 175,000
Power steering hoses: 230,000
Air intake temperature sensor: 250,000
Rear wheel bearings: 220,000
Struts (front & rear): 310,000
Clutch assembly: 320,000
Starter: 400,000
Front brake caliper brackets: 403,000

If you think the list of replaced parts is long, just think about how long the list would be of parts that are still going strong for 407,000 miles! Keep in mind I’ve driven over eight hundred thousand miles and only put in ONE clutch! That can’t all be proper driving.

My OCD about car care is only responsible for maybe 40% of my cars insane life span. The other 60% has to it’s just an incredibly well built Nissan. I’d like to thank Nissan for building such a great car, and thank you to my Sentra SE for being there for me every time I’ve needed you. You’ve made my life on the road easier, and made sure I’ve made it to my gigs on time. Most importantly you’ve made sure I’ve made it home safely hundreds of times.

Wishing everyone a happy and safe New Year, may 2010 bring you happiness, success, love, and peace. (If you want all that stuff, maybe you just want to stick with a resolution, that’s cool too.)

Thank you to all the people that came out to the shows @ The Loony Bin in Little Rock, you made it a great night, and a nice way to kick off my 2010.

When you are a young comedian starting out having a local club that has a well structured open mic is invaluable. It’s where comedy starts, a place you can call home. The place where you gain the building blocks of what will become the comedian you want to be. I was lucky enough to have such a club when I started. They ran two open mics a week, and let you in for free on Friday nights so you could watch the professionals, so you could learn even more. It was the most important time of my comedy life. Fast forward 15 years, I am a married full time road comic, that has very little time, or a place to go for an open mic. 

I am in Iowa this week, working Wednesday, Friday & Saturday, with Thursday off. Down days in this business are a killer, it’s just an empty day where you are not making any money, and spending what you’ve already made to have a place to stay. I usually don’t like down days very much, if I’m away from home I want to be working every day, except for last night. I’m in Cedar Rapids, home of Penguins Comedy Club. This is one of my favorite places, and I work there regularly. Turns out last night was one of the weeks where they had their open mic!!! The manager invited us down, I’m working with Jay Lafarr this week, and we are traveling together. I was excited to be able to go to one again. When we walked in, the place was packed with people, and a list of 17 comedians on the list. It was like a flashback to my home club. I rifled through my notebook looking for all the untested material I could do in my 5 minute set. I was put right in the middle (which is a really good spot) up after Jay. He killed by the way, then it was my turn. For 5 minutes I was a young comic again looking down at my little sheet of new bits, anxious to see how they would work. When I finished, I was a seasoned road comic again with a few minutes of new material that was worked out the right way. It was a great night, and if you are in Cedar Rapids, go check out their open mic night. They run it the right way, and they have a stable of good young comics that will one day be road comics coming through town, anxious for the opportunity to try their new material and feel like a kid again.

Hey everyone,

I have just added some dates to my schedule. I will be heading back to Toledo, Lansing, Rochester, MN,  & Indianapolis. I also have a few dates back near home on the east coast, in Showshoe, Newport News, and Ashville, NC.

Check my schedule page for the dates and links to the clubs.

Thank you,

David